Resent Events. My favourite spelling error of the week.

As the trailer drives over from MVA to Lilliput, I thought I would take a bit of a story detour.  Because I think it is important...

It is show season!  And we know what that means - thaaaat's right.  It's time to be confused. Perhaps a little depressed.  Or even (feel free to insert your favourite "resent events" emotion here.  I like pissy, but I am sure you have some good options you could share as well).  Especially my friends, if you are reading this blog because you are following in my footsteps and working with a young horse (yes, I realize this is pure coincidence, not intentional, and you are not a creepy stalker).

I am here today to remind you of one of the life lessons oft repeated to me by my Curmudgeonly parental units:

"Nobody said life had to be fair".

(They also really had a thing for "If it was supposed to be fun, they wouldn't call it WORK").

Nowhere is this more true than when it comes to showing your green horse at training level.

Dear hoarde of Adult Am readers, bringing along your first dressage horse - please repeat along with me.

If I show my 4 year old neon green horse training level, and he behaves like he is 4 - I will get a crappy score
If I show my 4 year old neon green horse training level, and he behaves like he is 4 - I will get a crappy score
If I show my 4 year old neon green horse training level, and he behaves like he is 4 - I will get a crappy score

There.  Now that we have that out of the way... let's continue on with the rationale behind this.

What!!  Curmudgeon - If a horse is going to make it to PSG by 8 or 9 - which is absolutely the norm these days - they had better be well on their way up the levels by 4 and 5!  Go read the bulletin boards ... 4 = training, 5 = first, 6 = second, 7 = third, 8 =  PSG (because who the hell shows 4th anyways?).


FOUR is the age horses SHOULD  be showing training level!  So surely the judges aren't expecting perfection. 


Yep, yep.  This seems totally logical.  And you are right - judges aren't expecting perfection.  Or anything in particular really, beyond some form of lunch, a non-wobbly chair and a scribe with neat handwriting who knows enough to shut her trap during tests.  Some sort of paycheque at the end is probably on the list too.

But is it realistic?  If you show up with your four or five year old, for their first show, and they oogle around, shy at the judge, get strong, slow down while pooing, toss their head during a transition, come off the contact at the halt, or one of the millions of other things a horse with less than a year under saddle ridden by an amateur without an impeccable leg-to-hand (or hand-to-face, depending on the skill of the pro) terminator-like death clamp on the horse.... the judge won't mind, right?  That is what they are expecting, right?  After all, the test says:


Purpose: To confirm that the horse is supple and moves freely forward in a clear and steady rhythm, accepting contact with the bit. 

If the horse does this, oh, 70% of the time... I am going to get a 70, right?

Well, yes.  You are absolutely right.  The judge won't mind at all. While scribing, I can honestly say I have never seen a judge get annoyed by a generally well prepared, well ridden green horse doing green things.

(They do get annoyed by eyeburningly bad tests by people who haven't bothered to figure out what exactly dressage is all about, but hey, they read the test and Stormy can pull that shit off.  These people are identifiable from afar, in the warmup, long before their pierced and tattooed caller in muffin top jean cutoffs yells out AAAYYYE - ENNNNTRRRRR - EEEXXXXSS - HALLLLT - SALUTE.  For some mysterious reason I have yet to comprehend, this rider is typically wearing a purple troxell with plenty of hair puffing out, and usually riding an off breed, off the aids, off to the races, and off course (much to the obvious annoyance of the slouchy, shrugging caller), and later blames her bad score on breed bias).  


It sounds cornball, but really, judges are on your side.  In fact, in my experience, many times they are on the edge of their seat riding along with you, hoping beyond hope that none of these things happen, and saying "DOH" right along with you when they do. 

But they do. And the judges have lots of nice words for these events, like "some resistance", "hollowed", and a good dose of "unsteady in contact".  Maybe "2B rounder".  Don't forget "low in poll".  And the ever popular "more 4ward".  And since the horse is only 4, there is no shame in a "disobed" here and there now, is there? I scribed for one judge who was big on "some disturbance" which appealed to me, as made it sound like something supernatural was going on with the space-time continuum out in the dressage ring.  I kept expecting Carol Anne to drop from the sky covered in slime. 

Yes, you will get all this, and more, decorated with 5-6 and maybe a few 7's, which will all average out to a high 50, and - ta-da!  Although your coach has told you you are doing wonderfully, you are right on track, nice work, he looks great....you will probably be dead last in your class.

What?  That is crazy Curmudgeon.  We are all in this Training level class together!  With our greenies!   Struggling with the same issues with our green horses and amateur busy life timetables and skillsets, or lack thereof?

No.  No, you are not.


Lucky for you guys, I hurt my knee this weekend and cannot do anything but sit around and feel badly for myself, which gives me lots of time to stalk things on the internet, post on a few BB's, fritter away the moments that make up the dull day.  You know.

As part of this fritterage, I decided to do some research into the age of horses being shown training level by adult amateurs at a recent Gold show.  Since it is training level, and we are all "moving up the levels" - one would expect the class to be chock full of googly greenies getting their feet wet in the ring.  (Since I was looking at Palgrave results, and every show must be accompanied by at least one torrential downpour - this part was pretty much a given).

Here is what I found - Champs of Training Level, Adult Am division:

1 - 14 yr old TBred
2 - 4 yr old WBlood
3 - 5 yr old Westfal
4 - 13 yr old Arab
5 - 10 yr old Oldenburg
6 - 11 yr old WBlood
7 - 10 yr old Friesan
8 - 5 yr old Oldenburg

Well - maybe all of those RIDERS are green - I am sure the PRO's are showing the 4 year olds...uh, maybe not.

1 - 5 yr old unknown
2 - 6 yr old Hanoverian
3 - 6 yr old Trak

You get my point.  NO ONE - with the exception of one horse - is out there strutting their stuff at the age of 4.  Even though "progression through the levels" tells us that you better damn well be working on it at home.  No, in fact, the field is being lead... by a 14 year old horse.  And I absolutely know nothing about the particular 4 year old in this class, I have no idea, I am speaking in general terms here, he may well be a droolworthy piece of dressage flesh ready to become the next Totilas,  - but the fact that he did not behave like a total ass or even a partial ass at a show at such a young age, as many horses do, might also mean that he doesn't have the reactivity to continue on up the levels.  It is too early to say.  Just because your horse flips out in the ring at 4 doesn't mean you are doomed to fail, but at the same time, just because you are a quick starter doesn't necessarily mean you are GP bound.  


(Kind of like the girl who got the big jiggling rack in grade 5 and needed to wear a bra when everyone else was still pancake flat.  Sure, maybe she turned out to be the hot playboy babe all of the prepubescent boys were envisioning... more likely the big boobs were just a sign of the big butt and big calves and big everything else on the way.  Nature is cruel sometimes).  

The good news is - there is apparently no breed bias going on here - there is a bit of everything entering the ring, and the popular kids are not all coming out on top just because of their sexy brands.  The bad news is - if you have a 4 year old, and you want to get ring time, and your horse acts like a 4 year old... let's all repeat again...

If I show my 4 year old neon green horse training level, and he behaves like a 4 year old - I will get a crappy score

Now, don't get me wrong.  I am not saying that a 14 year old horse should NOT enter training level.  Maybe that rider was very green - it could have very well been their first horse show ever, I have no idea, I don't know them at all.  I am by no means saying they have cheated, or done anything unsportsmanlike.  Because the rules are such that anyone, can show any horse, any level.  It is no one's business but their own.

I am not saying that the judges did anything wrong either.  I am not a judge, nor do I play one on this blog, but if a 14 year old horse can't smoke a 4 year old horse in the Purpose: To confirm that the horse is supple and moves freely forward in a clear and steady rhythm, accepting contact with the bit department, something is seriously amiss.  They have to rank you all somehow, and they can't give you 70%, even if your horse was perfect 70%  of the time, and then give the 14 year old horse 117% to indicate that it is kicking the living shit out of directives designed for a horse 10 years younger in age.  


In fact, in the bizarro world of dressage scores, anything over 70% is perceived to represent stellar, which the 14 year old horse probably is not.  And so, they squeeze you all into a little 10% range, you get high 50, they get high 60... done and done.  


What I am saying is that the whole bulletin board story... the one that says you must score 65 at each level to progress, and if your scores are not 65+, you better take a long hard look at your training because it sucks, and while you are at it - fire your coach, buy a new horse, and take up curling....or worse still, make that beautiful 4 year old into a hunter... just might not be entirely accurate.  Instead, I am saying... get out there and show anyways.  Sure, a score in the 50's is depressing.  But showing a 14 year old at training level with no one to beat when you score 62 -  even more so.  Help them out, friends.   


Well it has taken me so long to write this post that my knee is now better.  I have to get out there and go running.  I was that girl in grade 5, and that big butt is waiting to sneak up on me the minute I let my guard down....