Those of you who know me in real life know that I am a bit of a Brer Rabbit when it comes to the workplace. No, no, NOOOO! Not the Briar Patch. Nothing is worse than the nightmare of paid holidays courtesy of severance dollars. Whatever you do, don't force that horror upon me!
And then...something else interesting always comes along.
What is my secret to always landing sweet assingnments, people often ask.
Well, on the record - I would say... get a good education, an advanced degree is preferrable...be articulate, network, make 10 contacts per day, have a smart looking resume.
Off the record, I would say - be a non-freaky-looking person who can smile and crack a joke. It goes a long way.
However, being a woman in your 30's is a big anchor around your neck. At any given time a large proportion of this demographic is gone for a year having babies (yes, maternity leave in Canada is a full year, sorry for your luck USA), inconveniencing all around them in the workplace, both when they are absent, and even more when they get bored at home and start stopping by monthly with their screaming spawn and stand in the middle of the office, triggering the loss of an hour or so of productivity as the entire workforce must drop everything and run over and stare for a while, asking pithy questions like "oooooh, is she sleeping through the night yet?" or "how is her little brother getting along with her now?" or "are you breast feeding? How are your nipples taking it?".
So in the interview, try to crack that joke about how much you hate children, even if you don't. Often they give you a good lead in, just to see where your head is at on the subject. You can identify this lead in, because they usually add an "Ooops! I guess I shouldn't really say that in an interview, should I!" at the end... and that's your cue! Child bashing - GO!
|Well, sure, I could screw like one if I wanted to, but think of all of the KIDS!! YUCK!|
So, I don't need to tell you who I called first on Tues... I landed this job before the month - or my severance - was through, along with a signing bonus that covered most of the cost of Ms. V.
THAT, my friends, is a life lesson. Silver lining....every cloud.
Anyways, I know you are now saying "blah blah blah, Curmudgeon - what happened with the vet check?"
Well, nothing really. After all of my sleepless nights leading up to the fateful Thursday, it was kind of a let down. Ms. V was perfectly behaved - did not even require sedation for the poking, prodding, jogging, filling of feet with play-doh to pose on slanty little wood blocks for x-rays, etc. The seller stood wringing her hands and smiling nervously in the background - and for the most part, stayed out of it fairly well for which I was grateful - I know it ain't easy to do.
The vet was, well, not exactly Mr. Personality Plus, but then I guess I wasn't paying him for his witty banter. I could tell he was underwhelmed by the horse, but not for any particular reason associated with soundness - I have a feeling that they see some pretty hot horseflesh at their clinic, weedy 2 yr olds probably aren't what it takes to light his fire.
So after it was all said and done, he packed it in and I went home and waited for his call, and the associated laundry list.
Consistent with horses of similar age and performance history. Horse looks thin and wormy. Deworm horse.
Well I am no James Herriot. But this - I can do.
I made only one mistake associated with this vet check. I told Mr. Motard the vet's findings.
So, when we showed up on Saturday with the Red Rocket to pick up Ms. V, he bounced out of the truck ready to talk the talk with the seller. Well Hellooo, nice place here, (pet dog for a bit), blah, blah, blah...
Hey, the vet said your horses look WORMY. Have you ever heard of this before? He says you might want to give something called DEWORMING a try...
And here I thought seeing the horse she had raised from birth drive down the laneway was going to be the most depressing thing that happened to this woman today.
MOTARD!! GET IN THE TRUCK. NOW!!
|Lord, I was born a travellin' Woooorrr-m. You'll feel me in your anus when I start to Squirrr-mmm.|
It's LOWLY! I love him and all the rest of the Scarrytown folks. Good job.ReplyDelete
I hope you have learned your lesson by now when it comes to telling Mr. Motard things you don't want repeated at the worst possible times... ;-)
Alas, no I have not.Delete
this is why I am glad we Americans don't have ridiculous year long maternity leaves. This coming from a mom that took six weeks maternity leave. It would greatly discourage companies from wanting to hire women. I know I sure wouldn't want to!ReplyDelete
It is so true. Worst, when someone has had ONE kid, you know it is just a matter of time until they are gone again... you have to race against the clock (cock?) to get things done.Delete
I can understand six weeks, with my first baby this is really what I needed to recover. It was probably only four days before I went back to work that I didn't feel weak every time I stood up, my second not so bad but by then my husband had a good enough job that I was staying home full time and quit my job. But seriously, a year? If you want to stay home, find a way to stay home, don't expect your company to hold your job for you and then have to hire someone to cover your work. I'm sure I'm opening a big ol' can of worms but that just boggled my mind when I read that!ReplyDelete
Another reason to thank God I am not american.ReplyDelete
Hey americans complaining about year long mat leave;ReplyDelete
Guess what! Canada is actually doing this and it works! Sure it blows for the non-breeder folks, but its not like our workforce is crumbling under the weight of it.
And we have health care for all! Oh my...
The socialists from the North are coming for you
I covered for a teacher who took four months and then, of course the summer, with her second child. I guess it's a matter of how much "bonding" the woman needs....some more than others.ReplyDelete
Ah, priceless! My very young son did much the same thing, as in "Mom, he does not really have both front legs coming out of the same hole!"ReplyDelete
First let me preface this by saying I don't have kids. However, I have a lot of friends and relatives who do. For these women - all of whom work full time - there are the following problems:ReplyDelete
1. Six weeks is enough time to recover for some women, but many need a bit longer in order to return to work functioning on all cylinders. Unfortunately, their only other option is to take 3 months off... unpaid. Three months without a paycheck can be more than many families are able to financially handle.
2. Whether they take 6 weeks or 3 months, all their vacation and sick leave is gone by the time they return to work. Employers have to give you the time off, but they can still apply your personal time to family leave. So, when these women come back to work they have no time left to take off when their kid gets sick, or if they get sick.
Not to beat this dead horse, so to speak, but I would like to point out that Stephanie very happily accepted the severance pay she is entitled to by Canadian and Provincial statutes and common law. Americans have no such protections and are employed at pleasure with no general right to severance. So, Steph........you liked your entitlements, let the mums have theirs! Oh Canada!ReplyDelete
Wow, who woulda thought this would all come up on a horse blog? O.o I had no idea maternity leave was a whole year in Canada. I have mixed feelings about it myself, and yes, I AM a "breeder." Six weeks is not nearly long enough, but one year seems a bit excessive. Three months paid leave would have been awfully nice... If I'd stayed home for a year I would not EVER have wanted to go back, LOL!ReplyDelete
That's encouragement to have yet another baby. You may never end up going back to work.
How else are they going to populate enough soldiers to take over America!!
*I really hope everyone can tell that's a joke*
I believe that birth control will soon be illegal in the United States.......or so the Republicans hope. So there will be many many babies in the Yew Ess Ayy to defend against the socialist hordes.ReplyDelete