Friday 16 December 2011

Empowered, enlightened, harmonized Snake Oil. When plain old Greasy / Slimy isn't enough.

My retrospective bulletin board stalking got me thinking... how on Earth do some of these crappy dressage trainers manage to rise from the ashes and reinvent themselves so easily, in this day and age of the internet?  And what should we do to try to protect others from them, when we hear the train a 'comin, it's rollin round the bend...

Same is true of course for breeders, sales people, whatever.

It really is remarkable. 

At least if you google some of the more seasoned snake oil salesmen, they fired up the snake press before the internet was really established, so it is more difficult to look back on what they did - or did not do - in former lives.  And now their identities are really entrenched in whatever it is they are doing to make a buck today.   

But man, it is so EASY to cyber stalk now!  Are there actually horse owners that don't know about Google?  Am I the only one who compulsively searches anyone they come across in real life now?  

I know the answer is NO to this last question, seeing as my LinkedIn profile has been viewed about 50x more than usual since I started this blog (hey, how do you like my new picture?)... coincidence?  I think not. Although I do keep hoping exciting new job offers are going to come flowing in any time now .  But then on the other hand, the morons over at UDBB felt they needed 2 pages of discussion and the powers of the resident super sleuth to determine who I was and where I lived, based on the hard core identity veil I have put up (Ha HA! if I use my REAL name, no one will ever guess who I am!  AHH HA HAA!  I will create a mythical land called "Toronto" AHH HA HAA <--- evil laughter)

Now, I am not saying that people don't change, or that you can't start a new career, lord knows I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.  But when the new business plan is just built purely on bullshit, what is the best way to call these people out?  What can we do as a community to help others avoid wasting time and money on dishonest, unethical trainers?  Or is it a waste of time to try, as people only see what they want to see, and hear what they want to hear?

Am I the only one who watched Oblio as a kid?

I talk a good game, but really I am not doing anything to help either.

An example...for some reason a while back, I got suckered into taking my niece and nephew to their year end Pony Club banquet, because their parental units were otherwise engaged.  

I didn't know anyone there other than said niece and nephew, so sat at some random table of parents.  One started discussing dressage with me almost immediately.  Well that sounds like fun, doesn't it.  Tell me more!  

Well, they had JUST bought their horse off of a FABULOUS local breeder - but not only that, he is also a dressage reiiki classical trainer to merge horse and rider into one body of energy...trains with only the finest Euro trainers, is an active member of the Xenophon Society.  Ohhh... well that is - uh.. interesting.  Yah, interesting. (I started to panic, just a bit).  

Oh yes.  I knew the guy.  In fact, he ran the only barn I have ever fled, under cover of darkness, because I feared that I would show up one day to find my horse not fed and locked in its stall by the repo man. (For the record... this never did happen at the facility to my knowledge, but it was in the air). Well that, and the fact that the barn owner was just hardcore unpleasant to be around. Probably because his business was going tits up, which does tend to wipe the smile off of a person's face, I would think.  And my horse wasn't getting turned out.  And was being fed at random times (maybe not at all, I could not be 100% sure).  And..And..And.. you get the drift. 

After pulling out, I started getting harassing phonecalls from him at work, telling me he was going to take me to small claims court to get a month's worth of board out of me since I signed a contract saying I would give 30 days notice.  This went on for a while, until I sent him something in writing that cross referenced the services to be provided on his contract, versus those I actually received... and said "bring it on, baby!  Can hardly wait to meet Judge Judy".  Well, surprise!  He went away.  And I never heard from him again.

In fact I never even really heard OF him again, until just the last few years.  He has magically resurfaced, dusted off the ashes, and has created this horse empowerment, reiiki master persona that seems to be gaining traction.

So back to the story... Pony Club Banquet.

I sat there staring through her, singing the "Oscar Meyer Wiener" song in my head to occupy my brain and stop it from making me comment on anything she said (I challenge myself by trying to write new rhyming verses.  It really works, I use this technique a lot).  She had all of the buzzwords - "advanced levels", "harmony", "empowerment"...

(hhmm..hhmm..hmmm..hmmm...Oscar Meyer Wiener, everyone would need to take a peeeee..).

But no amount of songwriting could control the next variable who walked in the door.  Mr. Motard.  Late for the banquet.

It didn't take him long to get up to speed on the conversation..

"Wait wait wait... Curmudgeon knows that WHACKJOB!!"

I started deeply into his eyes and used my best mind control skills. You will SHUUUUT - UP!   SHUUUUT - UP NOOOW... they didn't work. They never do.

"Curmudgeon, that's the guy you hated!!  Yah, yah, I am sure it is the same guy... Did he used to have that big fancy barn over on Shits Station road, or whatever it's called?  I am sure it is...!  Yah, yah, she boarded with him and fled because he was nuts!  Come ONNN Curmudgeon!  How can you not remember!  This is supposed to be YOUR hobby!  Sheesh"

(hhmm..hhmm..hmmm..hmmm...Oscar Meyer Wiener, everyon'd commit hariii kareeeee!)

Well, I don't need to tell you a bit of a chill descended over the table.

"MMMM... good pizza, eh?"

1 comment:

  1. "harii Karii" Hahah ha, I am laughing out loud. Who said doing the right thing is easy?!